A Letter to the Girl Letting Fear Control Her Life

Here we are guys. Be Confidently You is finally here after 2 years of being in the works. No, not because it took me 2 years to build, but because of that crippling four letter word; FEAR.

Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat”. Meaning fear is an emotion that is instilled in our brains to keep us from dying. That’s it. Not to hold us back from taking that new job, not to stop us from talking to that girl/guy over there, and certainly not to hinder us from following our dreams. I like to look at fear as another sense, like a sixth sense. We need sight to make sure we don’t walk into the street, touch to be sure we don’t burn our fingers off, hearing to listen for rattlesnakes and moving cars, smell to sniff out gas or smoke, and taste to stop us from swallowing something harmful. Then there is the sense of fear. This exists so we don’t walk too close to a canyon, drive drunk, run into a burning building, turn down a dark ally at night, I could really go on and on about dangerous situations, but I assume you have your own RATIONAL fears to picture. But that brings me to what I’m really here to talk about, IRRATIONAL fears.

Irrational fears can be any number of things. Fear to launch that blog/business you’ve always dreamt about (oh hey, me!), fear of quitting the job you’re miserable at to pursue your passions, fear of walking into that workout class or gym because you are scared people will judge you, fear of being honest with people because they might get angry with you, fear of embarrassment, even fear of wearing that tight dress that you love, but you don’t think you look good enough in it. But if none of these situations are a danger to us, why are we listening so intently to that fearful voice in our head? I’ll tell you something, it’s typically because risk is often associated with failure. Another destructive word I’d like to kick right out of the human language.

These last couple years have been a real eye opener to me. I went from an un-confident, unsure of herself, really sad person to someone who found her passions, began to love herself, and is willing to drop everything to turn dreams into reality (Quite literally actually. I quit my job, moved all of my belongings into storage, and moved into a van to travel the country and start my business. Talk about scary! But that’s a whole other topic I’ll save for later). I spent most of my days sitting on a dream while scared of failing, worried of what other women would think of me (notice I said “women”, why do we do that?!), and terrified that I simply wasn’t good enough for what I wanted. Am I qualified? Will people listen? Do they care? Am I “fit” enough? Do I write well enough? Am I pretty enough? Bubbly enough!? And ohhh the anxiety.. I feel it trickling up my throat as I write this. The knots in my stomach, the racing heart, sweating forehead, speech disabling torment that an unfortunate 1 in 13 people in the world struggle with. Well, I’ve finally decided to not let any of these things stop me from trying. I’m DONE letting fear rule my life. It is allowed to speak, it is allowed to be there, I will even hear it out, but it’s not allowed to make any of my decisions anymore.

And that failure thing I mentioned earlier? I’ve learned that it simply does not exist. Just because you didn’t win, does not mean you’ve failed. In any situation, good or bad, there’s always a lesson that comes along with it. And does it really count as failure if a lesson was learned? I definitely don’t think it does. In fact, I KNOW it doesn’t. You know what the biggest lesson I learned in these years of letting fear run my life? That it didn’t get me ANYWHERE. That’s right, I wasted years of my life being sad that I wasn’t where I wanted to be and throwing daily pity parties for myself. And since I wasn’t following my dreams, I was letting other things fill the happiness void that I was experiencing. Sugar, alcohol, overspending, unhealthy relationships, and television. Not to say all of these things are bad necessarily (except unhealthy relationships, kick those people to the curb if they don’t serve your life positively!!), but they are all unproductive in excess. Which lead to even MORE unhappiness, including reaching my heaviest weight. (More on that topic later though.)

Look, what I’m really trying to get at here is that fear is highly overrated. It’s most people’s best friend when it should be more of an acquaintance. Instead of inviting it everywhere with us we should be randomly running into it in a dangerous situation, thanking it for its time, and moving on. Be Confidently You wouldn’t be here if I was continuing to obsess over fear like I was. I’ve opened my heart to accepting mistakes and closed it off to failure.

And I want you to do the same. Which leads me to why I’m here. I want to help you overcome your fears and be who you truly want to be in the way I know WORKS. And how’s that you ask? By providing you with fitness/wellness tools to become the best version of yourself. Now you may be thinking “but I don’t want to become this super ripped person? That’s not my goal?” Well I’m here to tell you that that’s not what this is about. For me, confidence came from FEELING my best. I don’t necessarily have 6 pack abs or rocking glutes and I am, and will always, be an advocate for chocolate. But it’s never been about the way I look on the outside. That’s not what confidence is about. Confidence is that feeling you get when you don’t have to look in the mirror to know you’re beautiful. It’s that “I can do this” “I’m good enough” “Throw whatever you want at me because I can handle it” attitude. How did I get there? By exercising, eating healthy, and training my mind. All of these things thrown together in a pot will produce the confidence you need to make positive strides in your life because you will FEEL amazing AND have the energy to do anything your heart desires.

Whether it be becoming a better mom, advancing in your career, finding your voice, switching careers, becoming an artist, running a marathon, maybe it’s even just to build your confidence up. Truly WHATEVER you want to achieve, better health will help you get there. And I want to provide you with the knowledge to make your lifestyle change, as well as helping you to start believing in yourself and realizing what an empowering unique person you are! And how incredible is it that in doing this, I get to achieve my dreams as well! I get to work on myself while helping others work on themselves. Ahh, it gives me chills!! And to that I say, let’s conquer the fear TOGETHER!

Are you with me?