Loving yourself is the very first step in confidence. But loving yourself takes commitment. It takes caring for your health, giving yourself the attention you deserve, and making sure your needs are met… All of these things achieved together will produce a happier, healthier you. Which in turn will give you the confidence and energy you need to make the correct decisions for yourself, your future, and your partner.
But there’s a lot of confusion about what loving yourself really means. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be happy with all of your “imperfections” all of the time. It just means you are able to accept that they are a part of who you are and they make you… Well, you! It means that you are comfortable enough with your personality to not worry so much about they way you look. Or if you make a mistake at something and embarrass yourself, you’re able to just laugh it off other than get all worked up and anxious about it. You’re able to look passed your weaknesses and focus on your strengths.
How many times has your attention been driven to that girl on social media, thinking to yourself
“I love her hair, her eyes, her body, etc”?
Comparing yourself to them.
“If only I had this or that then maybe I’d be happier”.
Only to never look at yourself and appreciate all of your own features.
We must realize that this is the body we were born with and, quite frankly, the only one we’ll ever get. If we spend all of our time focused on what we don’t have instead of what we do have… How can we ever be truly happy?
Loving yourself can also change your perception of the world. When you start being happy with yourself, you will find this incredible weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Instead of only thinking about yourself, it leaves room to notice the world around you. You’ll stop noticing the pretty girl, the nicer car, or all the stuff you don’t have and are more likely to notice the pretty pink flowers, the way the air feels on your skin, or the smiles on the people surrounding you. It leaves more time in your head for discovering new ideas on how to make your life BETTER!
You’ll spend more time on self improvement instead of spending it on self doubt.
When you love yourself, you can tell that pretty girl how beautiful she looks instead of giving her nasty stares because you KNOW that you are just as beautiful. And you’ll realize that if someone doesn’t care for you, it doesn’t matter. Why would you want to be around someone who doesn’t like you anyways?! There are millions of other people in this world who would love to have you in their life and treat you like the incredible person that you are. And when you love yourself, people around you will start to NOTICE. You’ll begin to attract more positive supportive people into your life. People who will cheer for your success, people who will support you no matter how big a goal,
people who will actually believe in you the way you deserve to be believed in.
One of the first questions you should ask yourself in your journey to self love is: Do you surround yourself with people who don’t love themselves? People who are always saying how big, ugly, not funny, etc, they are? It’s soul crushing, right? Because you can see the greatness in them that they can’t see in themselves. Now as hard as it is, you need to shift away from these people. Because all they will try to do is keep you down with them. As the saying goes, “misery loves company”. And it’s SO TRUE. The more people who are down and see you start to rise, the more they will pull to bring you back down because they don’t want to be stuck in their misery alone. So if you are in the process of discovering how to love yourself, you need to surround yourself with people who love themselves as well. You are the AVERAGE of the people who surround yourself with. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to kick your family or friends to the curb, but you need to mix more positivity into the picture. Whether it’s group activities, phone calls, podcasts, books, anything at all,
the things that serve your life positively need to take up more of your time.
And have you ever been around someone who’s confidence is beaming off of them so much that you can’t help but want to be around them? That’s because it’s naturally something we all crave to be. Confidence and success go hand and hand. Not because if you’re confident you’re more successful, but because confident people are more likely to be doing the things that make them happy. So to them, happiness equals success. If we all stopped looking at success as how much money we make, how much stuff we have, how many bedrooms are in our house, or even what brand of car we own, and start seeing it in regards to how happy we are, then we will start to make decisions that ensure more happiness instead of ensuring a larger bank account. Because let’s face it, more money does not mean more happiness. But more happiness does mean more self love. And more self love means more confidence.
And more confidence means more SUCCESS.
Once you love yourself, you’ll even start to make positive changes for your well being. You’ll start to look at things as “is this good for me long term?” instead of “does this make me feel good short term?”. You start to swap out your soda for a green juice because why would you willingly put chemicals into your incredibly beautiful body? You’ll swap out TV for exercise because of the way post-workout makes you feel inside. You’ll simply be more likely to take positive action toward better health if you love the body you’re in and want to take care of it. It will also lead into better mental health. If you’re consistently tearing yourself down inside then you are at higher risk for developing depression and anxiety, if you don’t suffer from these issues already. But if you can think positive thoughts about yourself daily, you will be less stressed and perform better in your day to day life.
What this all boils down to is, YOU DESERVE FAR MORE THAN YOU’RE GIVING YOURSELF. Everyone deserves to love themselves. Hell, everyone is deserving of love, period. So if you’re feeling stuck, like all of this is resonating with you, but you’re not sure where to start. I recommend starting with exercise. Better health leads to happiness. What you may not realize is, the food that your eating mixed with the drinks that your drinking mixed with the lack of daily movement is effecting your mood. It’s causing those temper flare ups. It’s causing the morning nausea you feel when you wake up. It’s causing the hunger you have after you just ate. It’s causing you to feel tired at twelve o’clock in the afternoon. It’s causing the cloudiness in your mind at work. It’s causing the stiffness in your muscles.
Almost anything that’s negatively effecting your mood or body can be related to the way you are treating your body.
I’m only being honest for the sake of your well being here. Despite what you may have grown up thinking, despite what everyone else you know does, it’s NOT normal to drink soda every day, it’s NOT normal to put cheese and sour cream on every meal, it’s NOT normal to cover your food in salt, mayonnaise, and ranch. I get it though, because I struggle with these things every single day. Guys, RANCH IS MY WEAKNESS. My husband has called me out more times than I can count for my overuse of ranch on literally everything. So you know what I did? I went vegan.
Now, I know this is very drastic and not an option for a lot of people. And it really doesn’t even have to do with the vegan aspect at all. But what I did is I recognized I had a problem that was holding me back from being the best version of myself, from loving myself fully, from getting where I wanted to be in life… So I FIXED the problem.
I gave up something that gave me short term pleasure, for long term happiness instead.
And you know what? It’s. Freaking. Hard. I struggle sometimes with it. Especially when we go out. Fries and ranch? Omg I could eat them all day long. My mouth is literally watering right now! BUT, and this is a huge but, I know that eating fries and ranch moves me farther away from my goals and my happiness. And those things are worth more to me than ranch. This is also not to say to never eat out, or drink alcohol, or have cupcakes, because I totally do these things! But these are no longer things I mix into my daily schedule. And they are no longer rewards for my bad days or rewards for the fact that I exercised so I deserve some fries.
It’s now your turn to decide what is worth more to YOU. Are you more important that your bad habits? Is loving yourself more important than the negative people you surround yourself with? Is happiness worth more than the comfortable job you may be at? If the answer is YES to any of these questions, then congratulations, you’ve got yourself a start. You are aware that your well being means more to you than anything else. And that is the first step in your journey to discovering love for yourself.
Because in all seriousness, loving yourself MUST come first.
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