Ahh, the voice in our head. The conscious, second personality, life commentator. Sitting in our brain every single day making comments about our day to day moves, our experiences, or the standard of our decision making. The problem with the voice in our head is, we listen to it too intently. We latch on to its words like it’s the one making our choices for us. We identify with it like it’s US. It’s constantly throwing judgement out, comparing us to others, or sometimes it just wanders off and creates false stories only to get us super worked up and sometimes hinder us from moving forward. At times it keeps us up all night chattering away while we’re just trying to sleep.
How to we quite this thing?
Where did it come from?
WHY IS IT SO JUDGY!??
The trick to moving passed the voice in your head, is to understand it. Understand that it’s not there to harm you, rather to protect you. Sure, overtime it has likely developed into a negative voice, but in the beginning, before memories and experiences came into play, it was there to let us know we’re not alone. But as time has gone on, we’ve created beliefs around certain events and the voice is there trying to remind us of the past outcomes of those events to prevent us from trauma or push us toward excitement. The voice works like an echo remembering things that we may not have remembered. But in turn,
it constantly lives in the past to make assumptions about the future which only prevents you from living in the present.
We mistakenly gave the voice all of our power. Creating our beliefs, making our decisions, telling us we’re not good enough if we don’t do this or that. It reminds us that we “should have done” this or “shouldn’t have done” that ~ when what we should really be focused on is “that’s how I did it, regardless of the outcome, it cannot be undone. I can only promise to do something different next time”. By understanding that the voice is only your sidekick, not your master, we can begin to stop listening to the negativity and embrace the present moment.
If you’ve failed at something before, the voice will likely remind you of it every second while you’re trying to achieve it again. Telling you you’re not good enough, you couldn’t do it then so why would you be able to now, there’s no point in trying because you’ll only fail again. What would we have done if Thomas Edison had thought this way? If Steve Jobs listened to his voice? We’d be worse off as humans that’s for sure. If you truly think about it, the voice is wrong…. A lot. How many times have you caught yourself going into, say, an important interview and thinking to yourself there’s no way you’ll ever get this job, you’re going to screw it up just like you did at your last interview. Well, then the interview goes extremely well and you ended up getting the job! What if you had listened and never went for the interview? What if you had self sabotaged because you mistakenly thought what the voice was saying was true? You’d never have your dream job. And you’d likely go on to fail at every single interview thereafter.
The more you tell yourself something is true, the more you will start to believe it.
Stop making assumptions about your life. We ALL know what assuming does: it makes an Ass out of U and Me. Corny, but well thought out. When we assume the outcomes of situations, we begin to prevent ourselves from things that could truly make us happy. Why would YOU want to stand in the way of YOU? That just seems like a pretty backwards way of living, right? Remember that time when you texted someone and they didn’t write you back? You made up all these scenarios in your head, remembering things you could have done to piss them off. “Was it that joke I made?” “Were they mad I didn’t invite them to the movies a couple nights ago?” “Maybe I wrote something to offend them on social media?”. But then it turns out they were out of town without service for a couple days and all is well! But you just went through 3 days of hell texting them everyday and being super stressed about them being mad at you. Well, if you had just ignored the voice in your head and just waited until you talked to them to get the facts straight… You wouldn’t have put your body through that much unnecessary stress.
The voice exaggerates. It doesn’t use common sense. It doesn’t have a good or bad side, just past experiences to base its judgement on. We are sold by the fact that the voice has helped us in the past. When we dated that guy that the voice knew we shouldn’t have, then he ends up breaking your heart just like the voice said he would. Then we end up trusting it for further relationships, making assumptions about every guy from there on out which really only leads to self destruction of what could’ve been a really great guy.
The problem with the voices logic is this: not every experience will turn out exactly the same as before.
Not every trip to the beach ends in a shark attack, not every marriage ends in divorce, and not every concert ends in gun violence. We can’t let one horrible incident stop us from trying to be happy. Once we begin to understand all of this, we can learn to shut it up. All we have now, is the present. The past does not matter, nor does the future. The voice doesn’t understand this, so we must use our own common sense to correct it.
The only way to free yourself from the voice, is to stop believing it. It will take time to free yourself completely, the voice will not go peacefully, but if you really want to shut it up, know you have the power to do so. If you do not want to be afraid, let go of the fearful voice. Only then will you begin to prosper in every aspect of your life.
Want MORE Be Confidently You? Be sure to sign up HERE to become a part of the Confident Crew and be the first to receive everything NEW and exclusive weekly tips and tricks that you’ll only receive by being apart of the team! Plus, you’ll receive my TWO free guides just for joining the team!