I’ve let a lot of negativity rule my life over the years. From mean friends, to judgemental family members, down to pretty much everything thrown on social media these days. I’ve quickly come to learn that people thrive on negativity. Anytime you try to be positive there’s someone there waiting to bring you down. Do they feel comfort bringing others down? Are they sad in their own lives so much that they feel everyone else around them needs to be sad too? I mean, misery does love its company.
Being liked is one of our most wanted forms of happiness. When we’re liked, we’re happy right? Isn’t it crazy that we’d rather be surrounded by negativity than be alone? Most people are so terrified of being secluded, that they’ll agree with whatever is going on even if they are appalled what is being said. If you’re not careful, you’ll likely be sucked into their dramatic chaos and end up in a life of negativity yourself. Never striving for anything because “no one ever makes it” or “that’s just too dangerous” or “you’ll never make any money doing that”. So how can we deal with this negativity? I know I don’t need people surrounding me telling me the worst about everything all the time. I get enough of that going on in my own head as it is.
First things first, set boundaries. Let them know they’re bringing unwanted negative energy around and stay clear of them. People need to be called out for their negative habits. Who knows, maybe you’ll spark a needed change in them and prevent them from moving on to bring down someone else. If you’re in a situation where you must be around them like a colleague or family member, do not engage. You’ll only add fuel on an already 0% contained fire. People who are negative only want to create more negative people, so if you don’t give in, they will stop looking to you for your comfort.
Next, stop giving them things to be negative about. If you know that all they’re going to do it sh*t on your parade, stop inviting them to it! I personally learned this the hard way with a close family member. Every time I told them something i was working on or a new challenge I put myself on, they’re response was always “okay, well we’ll see”. I never felt good enough for them even though I wanted their approval more than anything. I finally had to stop myself from going to them with new exciting things in my life because i knew they’d never be happy for me. I began to only turn to people who would cheer me on and believe in me. And now I have so much more confidence in myself because I’m not being tied down from negativity.
An important one – pick your battles. Don’t sit there and argue with a negative person. They’ll never let you win and you’ll only end up more frustrated. Ignore the comments, choose the high road, and prevent yourself from a toxic environment. When you start engaging in these sorts of conversations, you’re only letting them think what they’re doing is okay. Your argument is ultimately what they aim for. They thrive on drama and will only keep coming to you because they know you will participate in the game.
Lastly, stay positive. The more positive you are, the less negativity will effect you. When you surround yourself with positive people, good things can’t help but happen for you. You don’t have to be alone in your search for a positive life. You’ll gain knowledge and tools from others to assist you for the rest of your life. You’ll learn that you don’t have to sit there and be unhappy in someone else’s sadness, you can rise up and embrace your own happiness AND have others cheering you on in the process. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t have that positive support system right now either. Once you begin to let positivity rule your life, you will begin to automatically attract the support system you need.
If you’re down on yourself because negative things have been said about you… ask yourself this, does it ring true for you? Do you believe what they’re saying is true? The answer should be no. Anyone saying bad things about you is only to bring you down on PURPOSE. Nothing they’re saying is true and you must understand that if you want to move passed these comments. And if you really believe what they’re saying is true and it’s really effecting your mood, what can you do to fix it? There are options for you, we are not stuck in our unhappiness. You own the power to make positive changes in your life… Remember that next time you feel a surge of negativity. Someone says they don’t like your sweater, go look in the mirror and tell yourself you look beautiful in your sweater. Change your perspective, change your mood.